Erin (claramata) wrote in askewniverse,

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Funny List

I thought this was funny and figured I'd share with you...

You know you're scarily obsessed with the Askewniverse when...
- You fear and respect the escalator
- The ending of Return of the Jedi doesn't settle well with you anymore
- The theme to "Mighty Mouse" gets you sexually excited
- You almost laugh whenever someone asks what a Nubian is
- The phrase "f**k them up their stupid a**es" fills you with murderous rage
- You're aware of the gay subtext of Archie comics
- You liked the idea of a Bluntman and Chronic movie
- You, if given the chance, would ask Stan Lee for advice on women
- You hang around in airports to watch mankind at its best
- You know and enforce the difference between an eatery in the food court and an autonomous unit for mid-mall snacking
- You understand and use the term "finger cuffs"
- You've said "snootchie bootchies"
- When a woman tells you she's a lesbian, you don't see how it changes your chances of sleeping with her
- You've been to a topless fortune teller
- You always check to make sure the person you're about to have sex with in an unlit bathroom is, in fact, alive
- You claim to have a cousin named Walter
- You buy Alanis Morsette CDs with the hope that it will help you get into Heaven
- You know how much an average jizz-mopper makes an hour
- You've spit water on people just to make a point
- You doubt the validity of newspaper announcements
- You've rented weird porn to "expand your horizons"
- You've considered naming your cat "annoying customer"
- You consider the Universal Studios tour, when Jaws pops out of the water, to be the most romantic place to propose marriage
- You want Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, just like everyone else
- When you hear the word "uncomfortable" you automatically think "back seat of a Volkswagon"
- You take a Magic Eye very seriously
- You've considered stink-palming someone OR you've asked someone if they want a chocolate-covered pretzel
- You, suprisingly, know about likeness rights
- You consider the word 'tracer' vulgar
- Whenever you see a painting of The Last Supper, you wonder where Rufus was sitting.
- You have asked a convinence store clerk if he's/she's "even supposed to be here today"
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